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Running Streak 1/31

All ready for the first run!

Today was the first day of my running streak!  And I did it, so already, I'm doing great!  Today was also the first day of my summer break and therefore had two goals: clean and run.  Isaac and I spent about four hours this morning focused on spring cleaning, this is in addition to the two hours I spent yesterday organizing papers from this semester.  At about 10am we divided and conquered, and this is the first time that we haven't been expecting company that the house has been this clean.

With a lofty goal of sweeping months of piled-up old dust out of the house, I still had my heart set on running with my hubby today.  We set a goal of 1.25 miles, and let me tell you, it was torture.  Despite the bit of running I did last week, I felt like I could barely make it through this one.  I can only imagine that the next few days are going to be torture.  I was originally planning to bump it up to 1.5 tomorrow, but now I'm just hoping I can get through 1!

Tonight I am celebrating the end of my first year of grad school and saying thank you to my wonderful hubby who has been so supportive of me this entire time, despite the house being in a constant state of disarray, my hours spent on the laptop, and my constant requests for his assistance as my personal chauffeur.  I'm planning a special night for the two of us.  I can't say more because it's a surprise.  Let's just say I'm glad I don't have to clean the house before he get's home from work.  Let's also just say that I hope these extra calories won't do too much to me and my goals.

Anyway, after a long week of goodbyes and treats to match the sentiments, I write to you having gained a few pounds.  I begin my running streak at 139 lb. and I hope to lose three pounds this month to keep me on schedule for my ten pound total.  

As for the rest of this month, I'm happy that I've been posting in my blog more regularly, but I don't expect to post after every day.  I'll likely strive for once a week, possibly more if I hit a particularly hard run.

As always, thanks for your love and support!

Baby steps

I've ran three times since last week!  The first was a desperately hard half mile run.  And today and yesterday I've enjoyed two roughly 1.5 milers.  I'm proud of myself for getting back into it, and I'm excited to see what this summer brings.

My run today was great.  I woke up not really feeling into it (I'm typically a morning runner).  But tonight after Isaac went to work, I dragged myself out of bed and did a little shuffle out of the house.  I ran a different route (pretty slow).  Then at the end, after I had walked for a bit, I sprinted the last quarter mile back to my house.  Luckily, someone actually filmed that part of my run (see below).

Seriously though, I need to remind myself every day how much I love myself when I run.  And I plan to make it a bigger part of my life once again.  In an effort to start rebuilding the habit of running, I'm toying with the idea of doing a running streak.  Several friends of mine posted about doing it in December (bravo if you were one of them).  May is such a perfect month for running.  Not too hot or too cold, though I imagine that the rain will be a deterrent.  I'm still creating my own rules, but basically the challenge is to run every day for the month.  I've seen online that the minimum is one mile, but I think my body might not tolerate that, so I'm thinking of a half mile minimum.  The idea is that just by doing it every day, I'll build it back into my lifestyle.  I hope then that it will continue through the summer and stick with me when school starts back up again.  If you're interested, I found this article to be quite interesting on running streaks.

This week I have one day in the field and two days at school.  Then I have the next week and a half OFF!  Woohoo!  What a great time to really kick this whole thing off and focus on me again!  This is going to be a great summer!

Let's Get Down to Business

Okay gang, I'm back with new healthy goals for the summer.  My first year of graduate school ends in 1.5 weeks, and it's time for me to get back to the body I love.  It's not that I am totally back to my old habits (though the four pieces of pizza and slice of cake yesterday would beg to differ), but I'm not working at my best.  I am much happier with a veggie-based diet and regular exercise.

Since the fall, my weight has fluctuated a bit.  I started grad school around 138 lbs.  By the end of first semester, I was around 143.  Nothing huge, but noticeable.  I took winter break to get down to 135 (for like a minute before I started creeping up again).  I've spent this semester below 140,
but I want more.

And because I do my best work with weight loss goals, I've decided that this summer is about habit building and losing 10 lbs.  I want to run again, I want to work out and eat fresh food.  With no homework again until August, my body will once again become a priority.  Today I ran for the first time in months.  I couldn't even do half a mile!  But I will not give up.  I will rebuild on my old habits, and hopefully by building those now, I will be much better able to maintain them next school year!

Thanks for all of your support as I work on this again!

Better late than never

Hello again blogging world!

Sorry for the brief hiatus.  I meant to write on the first but was honestly feeling unhappy with where my body was.  I had been hoping to write a glorious post about how I met a new fitness milestone.  Instead I will simply write that after two years I remain in the best shape of my life and can truly say that I'm a different person.  Because I'm proud of how far I've come, I want to share the details and then get into what it all means.

Numbers
I wanted to show progression here, so I've laid out my measurements over the last two years.

Weight
(Late December 2011):  About 190 lb. 
12/31/12: 167
1/16/13: 137 lb.
Total loss: -53 lb.

Measurements (in inches)
Body Part            2/12/12                  12/31/12                        1/16/13                    Total Loss
Bust:                      40,                           37,                                 33.5                             -6.5
Right arm:             14,                           14,                                  12                                -2
Left arm:               15,                           14,                                  12                                - 3
Waist:                    35,                            31,                                  27                               -8
Stomach:               40,                            38,                                 33.5                            -6.5
Hips:                     45,                            43,                                 39                                -6
Right thigh:           27,                          25.5,                                22.5                            -4.5
Left thigh:            26.5,                         25,                                   22                              -4.5
Total loss                                                                                                                       -41 inches

Clothing sizes
Top:                   XL/XXL,                    M,                                 S/XS                       -5 sizes
Bottom:              XL/14-16,                 L/10,                             S/M/4-6                     -5 sizes
Dress:                XL/14-16,                    12,                                  S/4-6                     -5 sizes

Not a fan of this one,  from 1/1/14

Feb 2012

Internal changes
It is no exaggeration to say that I am a different person.  When I think about who I was two years ago, or who I was at 17 and almost 200 lbs, I don't recognize her.  She is becoming a distant memory.

And I don't mean to suggest that I don't want to remember her or that I am embarrassed by her.  Rather, I am attempting to integrate that person into who I am today, one whole individual with faults and difficulties and a newly-formed, slammin bod.

More than the physical change, my mentality is totally different.  I love myself in ways I never dreamed possible.  Today I described part of my journey to a colleague.  I mentioned that I was disappointed with the lack of progress in my still rather large arms.  And then I was horrified when she suggested that I one day undergo plastic surgery to get my body to where I want it.

The truth is that with all of my faults I remain a perfect human.  Not in the way that photoshopped models in magazines are perfect but in the fact that the miracle of human life exists within me and pulses through every inch of my human body.  Every scar, flab, stretch mark, and section of dimpled flesh comes together to give me the power to be who I am.  I write papers with these stubby dry fingers; read and research social problems with my dark-circle/crows feet ridden eyes; I speak to survivors of domestic violence and their children with these cracked lips.  More than these physical imperfections I have an incredible brain that equally troubles me with forgotten memories, jumbled speech, and terrible math skills and still makes me who I am, all of those things combined.

Sure, I'm not totally there yet.  My mood swings still sweep me off my feet and land me in bed from time to time, but they are fewer and far between.  And sure, I gained five pounds during the semester, but I took it back off and I will continue to allow the occasional indulgence to balance out hours of stress related to school and work.

It's an incredible thing to discover yourself within yourself.  She's been there the whole time, buried below layers of traumatic memories and self deprecation.  I'm just so happy to have gotten this far.

A post like this deserves a cute pic of me (summer 2013)

The road ahead
I don't think I'm done yet.  School has caused me to step back in my activity level, you know, so I don't fail.  Well, I haven't failed yet so I'd like to find a way to succeed both in my academic goals as well as my mental/physical health goals.  I've signed up for a fitness program at school where they give you an assessment and tell you to work out for 150 mins/week for three months and measure the end result.  I think I can do it, my heart sure wants me to.

The bottom line is that every day is filled with choices.  I can choose to be healthy or I can choose to fall back on unhealthy patterns.  Each choice really is a challenge and I celebrate every good one, no matter how small.  I'd like to say I'll post more, but the odds of that are slim.  I will say that I hope that anyone reading this can take away that with all the pain and the struggle that I've been through, it really is possible and worth it to change your life into something more positive, whatever that means.  What looks like a mountain at first glance becomes a series of small steps that takes you to where you want to be.  I'll never stop climbing.

Enjoying life (Sept 2013)

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

Friends, I have had some exciting news to share with you all for the past week.  Most of you know that about a week ago, a few friends and I completed a 5k.  I think I'll wait to post about that event in a later post.

For now, I want to share with you all that I did it.  Earlier this year I decided to set my weight goal at 145 pounds, or the start of the "healthy weight range" according to the BMI scale.  Today I write you weighing in at 144.  I'm wearing size small and 4/6s.

 

It's strange being here.  I've reached my goal but I still feel like I have quite a ways to go.  I feel so good about where I am.  I am a new woman.  In so many ways I have been reborn.

As a symbolic gesture of where I've been over the last few months, I've done something today that I've been preparing for since the beginning.  Today, I chopped off all my hair.

I've had cropped hair before.  When I was a kid my Granny would cut it up to my chin every summer.  2007 was the last time I had short hair because every time I saw my reflection in the mirror I was horrified at how fat my face looked with the cut.  I kept hearing JK Rowling describing Harry's cousin Dudley as, "a pig in a wig."  Since then I've looked on with envy at all the gorgeous short haircuts out there.  Now, at a healthy weight, I am no longer that girl.  I am in charge of my body, in charge of my cravings, in charge of my hair.  I love it.

So close, but right on schedule

Hello friends!

March is coming to a close and I'm very happy to report an exciting milestone.  I've now lost 40 lbs (and 30 inches!)!  That's right, as of this morning I'm weighing in at exactly 150.0.  This means I'm only 5 lbs away from a healthy weight range.  I can't quite put this feeling into words.  I've never been more proud of myself.  It's like I've climbed a mountain; just over a year ago I never thought I could live like this.  Now this is my life.  I'm the healthy one that people ask for advice.  I'm the one being called an inspiration.  More than that, I'm taking steps towards becoming the person I always wanted to be. 

I always pictured myself as being very active and adventurous, but my weight and accompanying physical limitations kept me from realizing that.  I fantasized about running through the woods, kayaking on the ocean, rock climbing, exploring new territories.  I watched movies about people who did those things, passively exploring the life that I could never have.  That disconnect has been partly responsible for years of depression.  My body wouldn't allow me to be the person that my brain admired.  I know I'm not there yet, but I'm closer than I've ever been.

This hasn't been easy, but I'm so excited for this post next month that I actually start to love the challenge.