When I started this thing on Monday I was worried that I wouldn't be able to do this. Hell, I'm still worried that I'm not going to be able to do this. So I gave myself no goals for the first week. That's something I'm good at-NOT achieving a goal. Someone pointed out to me that if I really need to do this, I have to do it, so I've decided to prematurely start some goals on an arbitrary date. One of my common excuses for not beginning a new work out schedule is that the day isn't right. I can't start on a Wednesday! Sunday or Monday is much better for that. But really, why not start right now?
I'll tell you why not start right now. I just finished doing one of my favorite fat girl things, one thing that I doubt I will ever get rid of entirely. I just ate a delicious pint of ice cream. My biggest weakness in life is ice cream. I love it. The flavors of life should be ice cream flavors. Some days are vanilla-they are plain, classic, uninspiring but still worthwhile. Other days are like strawberry. I know some people like strawberry, but to me these would be the days you don't really want but are forced to get through because well, it is ice cream after all. Of course good days are like sundaes. They are rich and complex and every bite contains within it a new and wondrous experience so unlike the one before.
To keep this metaphor shorter, today was a Peanut butter Persuasion day. That's my favorite flavor, peanut butter and chocolate-over 1,200 calories in the whole thing. Today was a day that called for eating it. Nothing particularly bad happened today. My only justification for this indulgence would be my period begged me for it. But the truth is I just wanted it; something felt missing. The only problem is, now that I've finished it I don't feel any more fulfilled than I did before. I just feel the familiar twinge of an over-sugared stomachache. I feel guilty, like by giving myself what I wanted I'm really just taking something else away. So it's hard for me to start doing something good for myself when I feel so wrecked as it is. I've ruined it today. Maybe tomorrow?
Because of today's indulgence I've decided to start some new ground rules. To begin with, I am cutting out lunchtime desserts altogether, no matter how sweet and tasty that cookie looks (I had two earlier today). I will also incorporate at least one vegetable into every meal-maybe minus breakfast. As often as possible I will drink water, even if I just drink it in my room at night. These are my first small steps that I have to promise myself to take, and I think they will get more strict as time continues.
Next is physical activities. For the record, I hate going to the gym. In an attempt to keep this short, I'm going to leave specifics on this for another post, so for now just take my word on it. I'm not forcing myself to go to the gym yet, particularly because we're on break soon and I don't know what new hours are going to look like. But, I noticed on netflix watch instantly there are some workout video things that my mom and sister were doing. I think, and I'm not promising anything, but I am going to try to do something physical at least once this week.
Coming up on Confessions:
I've thinking about what I can do to make this blog more interesting. With inspiration from my two favorite blogs, Post Secret and Cake Wreaks, I've decided to make Sunday a special blog post day. You'll see what I mean this Sunday, but be sure to check it out! I'm also looking for healthy suggestions of things I should try or do etc that you think will be helpful for this whole process.
Good for you Madison... this is definitely something I've always wanted to do but was never brave enough to put everything out there for the world to see. Keep going with this. And as for the gym thing... I used to feel exactly this way, and then I started running last summer on my treadmill at home, and noticed how good I felt afterward, so I just tried to remember that feeling, especially the times I felt absolutely unmotivated. It definitely gets easier. Good luck, and I totally support you!
ReplyDeleteYour ice cream metaphor is incredibly accurate!
ReplyDeleteI've been slowly working my way into changing habits and being healthier. To make up for my own serious lack of exercise initiative, I registered for a fitness class twice a week and it's been incredible. I get an amazing workout twice a week for credit. It might be too late to register for anything, but your gym might have informal classes or activity nights you could go to? I know the gym here has dance classes or fun workout classes at night and on the weekends that are either free or cost a small fee.
Adding veggies is also a great idea, especially ones with lots of texture because they make you feel more satisfied (or at least they do me). Water was realllly hard for me to get used to, but I found that adding the calorie free crystal light drink mixers is a good solution. And if you just try getting used to drinking it straight eventually it becomes something you crave. I can't start my day anymore without drinking at least one huge glass the minute I get up.
So yeah, long comment is long, but good luck and I'm gonna post a little more often in my blog about what I'm doing so many we can encourage each other.